So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Randomize
