your room smells of hookers.
And success
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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