yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
