My liver just broke up with me...
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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