thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
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