I wanna bring you to show and tell
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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