I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Randomize