dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
