I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
