shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Randomize