I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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