Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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