Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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