Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
