Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
