Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
