After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
