it was like his penis was on wheels.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize