Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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