do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize