I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
