She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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