apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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