I understand why you refuse to be sober now
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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