I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize
