Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
