They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
