To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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