I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
