brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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