He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
