i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
