Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Randomize
