ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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