I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
