I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
