this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
