he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I forgot how hot balto sounded
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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