its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
