I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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