You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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