ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
