The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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