My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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