I want to make a zoo with you.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Randomize