So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
