I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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