google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
