Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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