She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
