Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
