Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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