Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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