We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
