Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You're earring is so big in my mouth
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
