you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Randomize
