I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
