I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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