She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
