i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
