I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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