I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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