I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
