She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize
