Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Randomize
